Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Great Mosquito Massacre

I know I talk about this a lot, but really, there is no way to convey how bad the mosquitoes are in this area. This year may be marginally worse than others, but I'm not sure. Really, they stalk you outside, following a person in a black buzzing cloud waiting for a chance to pounce.

When working outside, you have approximately 4 minutes before they track you down and hone in for the kill. One memorable evening a couple years ago the kids and I were going for a peaceful bike ride around a lake when the sun set a bit too far. It was like a cartoon with an arrow of mosquitoes chasing us. It was really our own personal bike race. By the time we rode the 3 miles back to the car, we were so bitten we actually had to stop for lotion on the way home, it was horrific.

Last night, we illustrated these facts again. Driving home from a Target trip, Devin somehow misplaced his new game. So we stopped, and tore the car apart trying to find the game. Suddenly, while I was sorting through the miscellaneous papers left in the car after our trip, (it's been too hot and buggy to completely clean out the car yet), I felt a little bite on my back. I started to hurry people up but to no avail. They soon regretted this, because once we finally found the game, and shut ourselves into the car, the reality set in.

We were locked in the car with approximately 3333 hungry flesh eating mosquitoes. It was a mere quarter mile before the carnage began and the screaming started. Rather like listening to people attacked by sharks, while you're still in the lifeboat the bloodsuckers stayed in the back attacking the kids and Kevin while I drove (and giggled, and then itched the real and imaginary bites). The cacophony of sounds behind me varied from the hilarious to the brutal.

"AUUUUGH! That one spurted blood all over me! GET IT OFF!"

"Kill it kill it!!!"

"Grandma there's one in your hair!!!!"

"Drive faster!!!!!"

"EWWWWWW That one was biting me!!"

"There are mosquito guts everywhere!"

"Drive woman! Drive!"

"There's a whole pack of them above you!"

"More? Where are they all coming from?"

"This is exactly why we are leaving this place!"

By the time we had driven the 7 miles home, approximately 3/4 of the bugs killed and spattered all over the car. It looked like we had driven the car inside out through a Montana night really. And I ask again, why are we living here?

1 comment:

  1. LOL! (Sorry, don't mean to sound sadistic). But the dialogue is very similar to the one we had when my sister and friend came to visit. One evening (1st mistake) we decided to take them to Big Sandy Lake to see the sights. No sooner were we out of the car and millions of these carnivores came from everywhere; lots of yelling, screaming and trying to find the door handle to get back in the car as fast as possible! Never do that again. And how about the deer flies?? OMG. You can't step off the porch without being attacked by hundreds! They are immune to bug spray; they never give up; you can't shoo them away. Can't wait for Fall!! Have a great weekend, Heather.