Sheer Madness

This is a crazy, crazy, crazy insane state. Want proof? Exhibit 8,465,942

I realize this is small, click on it for the entire effect.

This is a list of items for the kids sixth grade camp. Now I went to camp. I enjoy and appreciate camp. I can still sing my camp song. However, these kids have to go to camp in NOVEMBER. In the FROZEN TUNDRA!!! In the SNOW! And the COLD! I guess at least there aren't mosquitoes and ticks then..

But let's review the above list:

First the warning that is can be cold and change temperature suddenly. Right from above zero to below zero.

Then the notification they need long johns, parkas, wool socks, scarves, hats, gloves. Boots. Seriously people, this is camp! They're dressing as though they're joining the rebel forces stationed at Hoth and then going out to ride their TonTons to the last marker. I mean, I understand the warm clothes, I don't understand the camp in November. Why not just send them in January? If they're going to be exposed to bitter temperatures why not go for life threatening ones?

Besides what will they do at camp? Stalk and kill a deer? Ice fish? Study the frozen pond water? All the birds have flown south. All the small creatures have fled. The leaves are off the trees. All that it proves is that people are insane enough to think that going into the woods in November in the frozen tundra is fun.

We're offsetting this by knitting hats and scarves and shopping for wool socks. In reality I think homeschooling may be a better option.

The Great Frozen Tundra End of Summer Celebration

AKA the State Fair.

I love fairs, we would of course growing up we would never miss the Puyallup fair, we went to the Missouri State Fair (Hotter than Hades, but still fun - lots of ice water, air conditioned buildings and mules), and we have made it a ritual to go to the state fair here. The fact it takes place right as the weather is cooling down, yet right before it starts to freeze, was excellent planning on the fair makers part.

This year was a short visit - and most likely the last(!!!) That made it all the better as we enjoyed the favorites, ate the things it's known for, and enjoyed a beautiful Seattle-like day. I will even not mention the fact it will probably snow in a month. No, let us just enjoy September sunshine for awhile..

First stop - Elephant ear!

I still think this is weird, but I've never had one, so I can't really fairly pass judgement

Love the hair!

2nd stop - footlong hot dog!

I love this poncho. I'm wondering if I could make it.. minus the fringe plus a border?

Dipping Dots.

More candy bars in batter and fried. Hm.

You can barely see it, but this is the Lake Wobegon headquarters.

There was a sea of people everywhere. Seriously it was like this then entire fair

Making a rope with cowboys

At the horse corrals

Isn't this the prettiest cow?

Love these sheep!

Going through the barns was a lot more enjoyable as a vegetarian.
Evidently I've always harbored guilt over eating a cow.

But who couldn't? Look how cute he is!

Awww

"Let's get together, Say hey Alligator!" I have no idea what he was doing here

Grilled corn, I think they thought it was worth the 30 minute wait

Mini donuts for our donut lover

It was a 45 minute wait for cookies

Their parents were on the zipper. I think Cory was worried.

Trying to win a huge cow.

Machinery hill

Another shot with a country type couple in it for interest..

Taffy stand, nowhere near as good as the Puyallup fair taffy.

Home with our cookies in tow

The Great Mosquito Massacre

I know I talk about this a lot, but really, there is no way to convey how bad the mosquitoes are in this area. This year may be marginally worse than others, but I'm not sure. Really, they stalk you outside, following a person in a black buzzing cloud waiting for a chance to pounce.

When working outside, you have approximately 4 minutes before they track you down and hone in for the kill. One memorable evening a couple years ago the kids and I were going for a peaceful bike ride around a lake when the sun set a bit too far. It was like a cartoon with an arrow of mosquitoes chasing us. It was really our own personal bike race. By the time we rode the 3 miles back to the car, we were so bitten we actually had to stop for lotion on the way home, it was horrific.

Last night, we illustrated these facts again. Driving home from a Target trip, Devin somehow misplaced his new game. So we stopped, and tore the car apart trying to find the game. Suddenly, while I was sorting through the miscellaneous papers left in the car after our trip, (it's been too hot and buggy to completely clean out the car yet), I felt a little bite on my back. I started to hurry people up but to no avail. They soon regretted this, because once we finally found the game, and shut ourselves into the car, the reality set in.

We were locked in the car with approximately 3333 hungry flesh eating mosquitoes. It was a mere quarter mile before the carnage began and the screaming started. Rather like listening to people attacked by sharks, while you're still in the lifeboat the bloodsuckers stayed in the back attacking the kids and Kevin while I drove (and giggled, and then itched the real and imaginary bites). The cacophony of sounds behind me varied from the hilarious to the brutal.

"AUUUUGH! That one spurted blood all over me! GET IT OFF!"

"Kill it kill it!!!"

"Grandma there's one in your hair!!!!"

"Drive faster!!!!!"

"EWWWWWW That one was biting me!!"

"There are mosquito guts everywhere!"

"Drive woman! Drive!"

"There's a whole pack of them above you!"

"More? Where are they all coming from?"

"This is exactly why we are leaving this place!"

By the time we had driven the 7 miles home, approximately 3/4 of the bugs killed and spattered all over the car. It looked like we had driven the car inside out through a Montana night really. And I ask again, why are we living here?

Vampires

I still have pictures to post of beautiful things that words can't describe, but we are still traveling back to our cats (who according to all reports are being sufficiently spoiled) and I am cleverly posting from my phone. i shall blame that, and the fact it is 3:0) am for all typos you shall encounter.

This post is merely to state a few facts about the hellhole we are returning to. Let us begin with the fact they evidently missed us so much here that the entire state stopped working while we were gone, cleaely in an attempt to prevent more people from leaving they stopped all constuction on roads so that your car would break an axle while utilizing the stupid freeway. If that was not enough to keep you home, they locked up all the rest areas. Not only did they presumably lock the buildings but for some reason also barricaded the ramps to prevent use of a state property. I'm not even going to delve into the liquor shortage this is going to cause due to licensing. A cruel act where most natives rely on beer to keep cool, and vodka to keep warm..

Of course I can't neglect to mention the weather which according to all reports has been horrific with thousands of inches of rain and heat that rivals the jungle. Which of course brings me to my last point. Weather unfit for inhabitation by humans and dogs, and cats not in air conditioning is perfect for bloodsucking bugs.

As we were driving down the road, a mere 100 miles into this humid lake ridden jungle, the dogs needed to be walked. In the 5 minutes this activity took, I was bitten at least 20 times, and when I got back into the car, there were a zillion of the little flying needles in the car with us, despite the closing of the car doors as fast as humanly possible. Of course the native person said they didn't bite him. Obviously there is some weird recessive mosquito repelling gene that locals have found to allow the survival of people longterm in these horrifying conditions.

Finally, I'd just like to add, that the temperature the next 3 days here, are going to be 95,97, and 100, with storms every day. In Seattle? 76, 70, and 64 degrees. If it wasn't the cats, nothing could have convinced me to come back.

Hot Hot Hot

It baffles me, why, in this horrible place, it can not be warm without storms, cool without freezing, or summer without mosquitoes. We generally have one nice week here in the spring, and one in the fall where it's 70 degrees, sunny, the flying bugs are dead, or otherwise occupied, and it's not storming or windy.

Take today for example. It's 68 degrees, and sunny, but there are 30-50 mile an hour winds outside. Yesterday, there was no wind but it was a stormy 85. The day before? It rained. I mean, seriously, it's insane. Why this area of the world was ever settled, and why people continue to live here I can't understand. Even with the week that is nice, you really can't enjoy it because the looming snow, or humidity just hangs over you like a guillotine waiting to drop.

Of course, all of this is made worse when your air conditioner breaks (ok, that is better than the furnace breaking..) and it's 85, with high humidity. Especially when one family member is suffering from broken bones and casts, and the other has rheumathoid arthritis, made worse by heat and humidity.

And let's review exactly what has broken in May - 1 tire, 1 refrigerator, 1 hand, and 1 Air Conditioner. Really, I think the least was overkill. Clearly it should have stopped with the hand, as that is 3. Remember, bad things happen in 3's.. Or maybe my secret happiness that we replaced the fridge I hated made that not count. I'm not sure.

In 16 days, we are leaving on our Epic Adventure to a part of the country where the weather is warm without storms, and no mosquitoes live. That is what I keep repeating to myself, while I watch the A/C repair people hard at work figuring out why the A/C isn't working. 16 days.. 16 days.... 16 days...... I think I'll start packing.

Darwin Award

All weekend long the view has been this

Dark skies surrounding us

Wall Clouds coming in

So when the tornado sirens sounded

All the neighbors ran to the end of the block to watch for the funnel cloud.
They probably would have been better off though to actually look in the direction
the storm was coming, or like us, run downstairs to the tornado room...
Oh well. Survival of the fittest*

*to my knowledge no one here was hurt, even the little kids running around in the thunderstorm. Hopefully they'll stay that lucky in the future.

Let Me Sum Up

This is the spring project. A small patio, and another raised bed.
We got this much done on Sunday. Now, who knows when it
will be completed - Snow is coming again.

This is the raised bed, waiting to be planted
(ignore general yard detrius also waiting to be cleaned up)
It will continue to wait. - Snow is coming again

These are the empty pots, lined up waiting for new inhabitants
(and a tree which I think survived the winter and is ready to be planted)
but they will continue to wait - Snow is coming again.

This is the shrub rose bush with buds on it.
Brave soul, it should have waited. - Snow is coming AGAIN.

It will be May in less than 2 weeks. And we still have freezing temperatures and snow in the forecast. It is just so wrong on every level.